My kid is funny.

This post is going to be centered more around the Axman because he's just straight up funny.

Before I get into some of the recent Axel antics, I'll give a quick Bridget update. Ms. Smalls turned 6 weeks on Tuesday! How quickly time flies. She still gets carted around with me everywhere I go, and she's such a good sport. There's only been one instance where she lost her marbles in a public place and it was due to the fact that when this girl is hungry, this girl is hungry.

At her one month appointment, the doctor found it pretty humorous that she had gained two pounds in as many weeks. She is gaining weight quickly and I'm sure will be nice and round for Halloween - our own little pumpkin. :)

Telling secrets to her owl

Heading to the pumpkin patch

Enjoying fall weather in style

Tummy time fail.

In her most relaxed state...

Okay, so now that you've had your fix of Bridget, lets talk about... the Axman.

Axel Edward, age 4

My sister has said for a long time that Axel is the funniest human being she's ever encountered. I attribute part of this to the fact that she adores her niece and nephew - but the more I hear the things that Axel says and see the things that he does, the more I know she's right. He's funny.

Axel is quite the music snob. He has music in his blood. Both of his grandfathers are/were talented musicians, as is his grandmother. I have played piano since the young age of 3, I play some guitar, and Ben is self taught on both as well. (He also had a temporary stint of playing the saxophone but sadly we didn't progress much further than Shoe Fly Don't Bother Me... I have faith he would have been the next Kenny G had he kept up the lessons) I used to love to spend my afternoons when I was young listening to music in my room and making mixes of the best songs for my cheerleading squad's routines. (Yes, Jane's Addiction did make it into one of our routines)

Anyhow, months back I created a Spotify playlist called "Axel Must Haves". (Publicly shared, feel free to subscribe). Initially the playlist was songs like "Hot Dog", "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", PJ Masks and Paw Patrol theme songs. Then he started developing his own taste in music. Like REAL music. Suddenly he has opinions on the songs on his playlist. He'll hear something playing and ask, "What's this song?" I'll tell him... to which it results in, "Will you add this to my playlist, please?" Well, sure.

The challenge that comes into play is that Axel's perception of a song and what it says isn't necessary what is playing. We were going to school one morning.
"Mom, can we hear my playlist?"
"Sure, Bubba."
"Play Bunga."
"What?"
"BUNGA."
"Babe, I don't know what Bunga is."
"BUNGA!!! PLAY BUNGA!!!" (Commence alligator tears because mom is clueless)

I didn't figure out Bunga that morning and he was furious.

That night...
"Bubba, this morning you asked me to play Bunga."
"I know."
"What is Bunga? How does it go?"
(starts to sing (in tune, mind you)... "BUNGA! Feel the BUNGA!"
"OOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! I know what you are talking about Bubba! THUNDER!!! (Imagine Dragons)

I go to his playlist and turn it to Thunder. He gets a HUGE smile on his face. "SEE MOM?!?! I TOLD you it's Bunga!"

So now we know.

Other songs that amuse me... He is obsessed with Ozzy Ozbourne's Iron Man. I'll wake up to him belting it out in his room at the top of his lungs. He loves Seether's "Break Me Down" and his absolute favorite band is Twenty One Pilots. He likes Fun, and he also likes U2. (Proud mom moment there). I was sad that he didn't appreciate Led Zeppelin's D'yer Maker and made me remove that from the playlist as well as Mia's Paper Planes and Bob Marley's Three Little Birds. Sigh.

Last weekend I was sleeping in a bit and Ben and Axel were up and about. You know how in dreams you sometimes incorporate the sounds around you? Yeah, well I had a dream that there was a crazy blonde woman at a restaurant singing really strangely non-stop and no one could make her be quiet. I woke up and the sound continued. Turns out the sound was Axel singing his rendition of U2's "Raised by Wolves". He says something like "Raised by Wolves... Johnny I feel ya".

He also likes to make up songs about our animals and Bridget. It's quite entertaining and for a four year old, I've been quite impressed at his ability to rhyme on a whim!

Next story...
We promised him we would take him to a pumpkin patch this last weekend, which we did. We have had such a lovely time doing things with Brittany, Hunter and Peyton. We recruited them to make the drive and we all headed out to Marble Falls for a morning of pumpkins. Unfortunately once there, Axel threw a massive attitude as only Axel can, and we ended up leaving the patch sans pumpkin.

His face tells it all. This was our attempt at a family photo.

A little happier...

It smiles!

Brit and Peyton

Three generations of Bernfelds. :)

Brittany and Hunter thought it would be funny to put the girls together in the stroller for a hot minute... Peyton wasn't having it, and Bridget was trying to eat Peyton. Really.

Varner clan

Then and Now

Family portrait sans Axman.

So we leave the pumpkin patch and go get some lunch. On the way home... "DAD!!! You didn't get a PUMPKIN!" Oops.

So we go to a pumpkin patch the next day as well so that we can get a pumpkin. This pumpkin patch is far superior. They have mimosas and bloody mary's. And activities with prizes for kids. Turns out that my kid won one of these prizes... a fish. A flippin' fish.

Meet Pumpkin Patch, the Goldfish.

Now my first thought upon seeing this goldfish was that Pumpkin Patch had no chance of survival. And this really made me sad when I heard Axel in the backseat of the truck, holding the fish up to his face and saying, "I love you, Pumpkin Patch, you're my best friend." Awesome.

We got home and put Mr. Patch in some water and he was already looking like he had shaken fish syndrome. Not a good sign. I went out that night and came home to find that Pumpkin Patch was lifeless, at the bottom of his bowl. I panicked because I really didn't want to deal with the trauma of Axel seeing that his best friend Pumpkin Patch was no longer among the living. So I left him in his bowl, thinking that I could tell Axel he was sleeping, then replace it the next day with a new fish.

Luckily, I distracted him enough the next morning that he didn't even GLANCE at Pumpkin Patch. (SCORE!) I took him to school, still no mention of the fish. I'm feeling GOOD now. So Bridget and I book it to PetSmart and we go find the goldfish. We buy another fish to replace Pumpkin Patch (they are only $.14, should you need one in a pinch) and picked up some water conditioner and a fake plant to add to the experience. I find it important to share this text exchange that occurred between me and Ben. I had sent him a picture of a cute little shark aquarium asking if Axel needed it. His response:

(Note: Meyers is a brand of all purpose cleaner)

Needless to say, I didn't buy the little aquarium. Just the fish. We get home, put Pumpkin Patch II in the water and he swims around happily.

Axel gets home.

"Axel! Have you said hi to Pumpkin Patch today?" (I'm totally giddy feeling like supermom at this point).
He runs to the table and peers in the goldfish bowl.
"MOM!!! Did you make him NOT DEAD?!?!"

Annnnnnnnd so now I bring fish back from the dead. No WONDER he didn't pay any attention to Pumpkin Patch that morning. He was well aware of the fact that the fish had swum to "the other side". Awesome.

To close things out, here are some other shots of the Axman being his super cool self. The selfie game is strong with this one.